After reading the Billings Gazette, I found some relief in an article entitled "70 victims of human trafficking have been found in area in past 18 months, organization says." Though a wordy title, it instantaneously captures the reader's attention and stimulates enough curiosity to want to read more. Despite the capitalization mistake in the first sentence, it provides an excellent introduction/lead. It immediately presents evocative statistics and facts that make it difficult to ignore, serving the purpose of informing readers. The lead informs who, what, and where but leaves room for much more questioning.
In my opinion, the author of the article does well with presenting more important information towards the beginning and less interesting facts towards the end, and overall, it seemed well-organized. The various methods used for the integration of quotes allows for sentences that flow naturally. Unlike the previous article I read, the article consists of well-placed references that enhance the piece as a whole rather than over-bearing it. However, it does become slightly repetitive towards the end of the article as a quote followed by "Fox said" is the format for three paragraphs/sentences in a row. As for biases or prejudices, the article evidently discourages such activities. "Conference presenters will discuss the trafficking problem, highlight efforts to combat traffickers and identify resources available to help and protect children and adults from traffickers," demonstrates this as words with negative connotation towards sex-trafficking are used (problem, combat, etc.). However, the article focuses primarily on the facts, and it would be rather appalling to have a bias towards the opposition. Even neutrality could be seen as apathy. In conclusion, this article was the best of the three I read. It was crafted well in organization and clarity, provided poignant facts, and informed the audience of an incredibly newsworthy topic.
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Whilst thinking of an old town I used to live in, I decided to search for a news article in the Alliance Times Herald to see the quality. One particular article immediately sparked my interest as its title, "Miss Alliance Writes about Mental Illness in Children's Book," highlighted an evocative subject and related it to the small community in the panhandle of Nebraska.
The subject of the article caused me to look forward to a compelling and informative article. Unfortunately, as I progressively read it, I increasingly became disappointed. Though the information was pertinent and interesting, the way in which it was conveyed was fairly anti-climatic. Sentences were sloppily strewed together in a seemingly rushed way and contained grammatical and formality errors (i.e. the lack of commas, the usage of parentheses instead of brackets in a quote, and the presence of mom instead of mother). None of the sentences flow, consisting of choppy and almost irrelevant points, and the integration of quotes is incredibly messy. For example, "Concerning people, especially children with mental illness, she told a group of fourth graders,'(They) need a little help learning, people to guide them in different ways. Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be friends with them,'" provides vague interpretation and poor choice in quotes. Considering that the author amended her previous statement, though incorrectly, it surprises me that he wouldn't have inserted 'it' in brackets before her next statement. Other quotes prove to be lengthy where paraphrasing could have been beneficial and more effective. It seemed that the author was attempting to meet a deadline, and in order to reach a desired word count, he carelessly plopped the longest, most cohesive quotes he could find. Furthermore, he created a plethora of confusion as he switched tenses, especially regarding the publication of the young woman's book; at one point he used "published" and at another he spoke of her mother "is" receiving it first. Overall, the article was disorienting and disappointing. It was an excellent topic that deserved more care. |
AuthorMy name is Shayla, and I am a senior in high school. I enjoy traveling, sports, and writing. Archives
May 2017
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