Whilst thinking of an old town I used to live in, I decided to search for a news article in the Alliance Times Herald to see the quality. One particular article immediately sparked my interest as its title, "Miss Alliance Writes about Mental Illness in Children's Book," highlighted an evocative subject and related it to the small community in the panhandle of Nebraska.
The subject of the article caused me to look forward to a compelling and informative article. Unfortunately, as I progressively read it, I increasingly became disappointed. Though the information was pertinent and interesting, the way in which it was conveyed was fairly anti-climatic. Sentences were sloppily strewed together in a seemingly rushed way and contained grammatical and formality errors (i.e. the lack of commas, the usage of parentheses instead of brackets in a quote, and the presence of mom instead of mother). None of the sentences flow, consisting of choppy and almost irrelevant points, and the integration of quotes is incredibly messy. For example, "Concerning people, especially children with mental illness, she told a group of fourth graders,'(They) need a little help learning, people to guide them in different ways. Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be friends with them,'" provides vague interpretation and poor choice in quotes. Considering that the author amended her previous statement, though incorrectly, it surprises me that he wouldn't have inserted 'it' in brackets before her next statement. Other quotes prove to be lengthy where paraphrasing could have been beneficial and more effective. It seemed that the author was attempting to meet a deadline, and in order to reach a desired word count, he carelessly plopped the longest, most cohesive quotes he could find. Furthermore, he created a plethora of confusion as he switched tenses, especially regarding the publication of the young woman's book; at one point he used "published" and at another he spoke of her mother "is" receiving it first. Overall, the article was disorienting and disappointing. It was an excellent topic that deserved more care.
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AuthorMy name is Shayla, and I am a senior in high school. I enjoy traveling, sports, and writing. Archives
May 2017
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